I think our craving to be loved is greater than anything else. We want to feel valued. We want to feel appreciated. When the storm hits like a wrecking ball and the waves won’t stop crashing, we want to be able to look around and see people fighting for us. Fighting because they see something in us that they don’t want to give up on. I’ve learned that all things beautiful carry distinctions of imperfections. The scars we wear tell the stories of our survival. The wounds we feel are reminders of how strong we’ve become. I look around and I see pain. I see hopelessness. I see people who need saving. We are all broken in our own way but I believe that there is beauty in brokenness.
Having your world repeatedly shattered will do something to a young child’s heart. I grew up in an environment that was in constant distress. One day my brother and I are waking up alone in a drug house, the next day we are crying on the porch because someone forgot to pick us up. I understand broken promises too well. I have gained knowledge that when a child is mentally overwhelmed, they dissociate. A disconnection that starts to form between their thoughts and feelings. I know what it’s like to lose pieces of yourself, until you have nothing. I believe my personal experiences with trauma will help bring wisdom and healing to others. The strength of a person is not measured by their brokenness, but is measured by their refusal to quit.
Living in a world surrounded by pain and hurt, yet we connect on brokenness. What we believe and think about ourselves is how we show up in the world. Culture illustrates how we are all different, yet beautiful in our own ways. Immersing ourselves in different experiences gives us the opportunity to create meaning, find purpose, and understand one another better. This is what brings people together. The common denominator is love. We have the opportunity to turn the tragedies of life into art and color one another with compassion. In the middle of my chaos, in a situation that I thought was going to take me out, there I found Jesus.
Laying on my bathroom floor was the catalyst to my redemption. I had an abortion due to the lifestyle I was living. Guilt and shame were the only emotions I knew. My mind, like many others, was in bondage. I was deeply rooted in sin and thought I was too far gone. God took all my pain away but helped me realize that changes needed to be made. I want to lead others on a path toward Jesus. I’ve learned that his grace for us is more than a second chance; it's a third, fourth, and fifth. It’s a love that keeps giving, regardless of where we’ve been. God took the biggest heartbreak of my life and turned it into something beautiful. He’s healing me so I can heal others. I’m boldly sharing so others can be just as bold. My motto: be the kind of soul that makes everybody feel like a somebody.
We can’t become what we want by remaining what we are. I’m not sure what my future holds but I trust the process. With God, there are infinite possibilities. I believe everything in life happens exactly as it did to get us to where we’re going next. I want to fight for others who are too weak to fight for themselves right now. I want to give people the love I was starved of. I want to bring hope to places that love hasn’t touched. My heart is with the weak in spirit because I know that feeling all too well. I wholeheartedly believe that my light will lead others out of their darkness. Once we open ourselves up to the endless possibilities of beauty that surround us, that is when we find ourselves.
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